It's Official!

"We're a family of 6" were Keith's words as we accepted our Certificate of Adoption this morning. After we'd signed all of the proper forms we got in the bus again and went to the top floor of the Notary building where the documents were notarized.

SO - Nathan Jiang Johnson is officially ours. It is really hard to believe and we are incredibly humbled and grateful to God for him.

For me, I find myself (at a little over 36 hours into this) wondering about who this little miracle of a boy really is. We went to a local "Wal-Mart" type store today and as we were wheeling the cart around the store, I would watch him and wonder what was going on in his mind. What does he think of us? What are his tastes? (he does seem to like everything we offer him to eat so far). And what is his personality? What were his parents like? What were the 15 months like for him before we all met? So many questions and so few answers.

We are figuring some things out about him. He is teething. We just figured that out at dinner tonight. He likes to roll around all over his crib before falling to sleep. He is very friendly. This morning at breakfast he had the undivided attention of a worker outside the restaurant window. He kept entertaining this man with his waves and looks. Nathan does like attention.

These are just a few glimpses into his life and everyone of them is like a puzzle piece. I think one of the hardest realities of adoption is that there will be many of those pieces that we will never find. But that is where our prayers (and yours) come in, as well as our faith and trust that our redeeming God will not only redeem those things we don't know, but also use them for His glory
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We can't wait for all of you to meet him too! He's coming out of his shell and we are too and the discovery is quite an adventure. I love this picture of him tonight making his first "cell phone call". We'll talk to you all again tomorrow.

Gotcha Day

Here he is!!! We are all doing well. The hotel room is dark and quiet right now as I write this and Nathan is taking his first nap with us.

Where do I begin to explain what I've felt these last few hours? Let me start by quoting from my journal entry earlier this morning before we went to get him and then I'll add a postscript.

"Nathan, here we come!"
November 29, 2010
So - after over 4 years of actively pursuing adoption, after years of longing, this is it!

Jesus, how can this be? How can this miracle be coming true? The roller coaster of emotions that I'm feeling is overwhelming. I am both celebrating and grieving.

The joy and anticipation of loving him is so sweet but the sadness over what he has not ever known in his 15 months of life AND over the trauma that today represents (strange faces, sounds, smells, etc.) for him is right there pressed up beside the joy.

And in all of my emotions, you are LORD. You're my Father who has adopted me and held me since I was in my mother's womb. You know Nathan just like you knew me. You know who he is, who is birth Mommy is, and You are why Keith and I are here."

I wrote these words after breakfast and spent some time meditating on Psalm 139:13-16. That passage is so amazing and will be marked in my heart as Nathan's "Gotcha Day" passage. God intimately knows him and intricately formed him in his mother's womb. And God is intricately weaving us into Nathan's story now. We, too, are to be a part of the story he has. Praise to you God for the knitting that you have done, are doing and will do!!!!

[Fast forward to the present (i.e., the post script)] So, that was this morning BEFORE we met him. Then all 16 families boarded our 2 buses and headed over to the room where we were to meet our children. What a surreal situation is was for all of us. My main emotion for the day so far is disbelief. I still can't believe that the baby boy in that crib in our room is really him.

We watched and took pictures as children started to come into the room. Ron and Laurie's son came pretty quickly and being a part of their first moments with John was amazing. I must have taken 50 or more pictures for them.

We waited (a common theme for us, hmm), watched, took pictures for others and waited some more. Actually, we were the last of all the families to get our baby. By the end I felt like I did when I had been a bridesmaid over and over and never a bride. I think it still didn't seem like we would get a baby. Everyone else would, but we would go home empty handed.

And then he came. When they handed him to us, he began to cry. I've cried tears about this transition for him and can completely understand why he was crying. But, after a few moments and some snacks, the tears subsided and he began to intently look all around him. You could almost see him trying to process all these strange new realities and take it all in.

We received a bag full of things like formula, new pictures of him, extra clothes and diapers from the PingDingShan orphanage. And I couldn't believe that they included all of the things we had sent him in his care package! Also, there was a dear little gift of a baby bracelet and necklace from one of his nannies who loved him. That will be a treasure, for sure.

There's much to still process, but one last highlight for me was just a few minutes ago when we were lying him down for his nap. I had wondered when I'd see his first smile and got a smile AND a precious giggle from him when I tickled his ribs. I think one of the things I'm most excited to see happen is for him to show us who he really is. It will be fun to see his personality come out.

Thanks Jesus for this day. Thanks for Nathan and his life. Thanks for intersecting our lives and for letting us belong to each other!

Tomorrow is Gotcha Day

The years of waiting have now finally turned to just hours. In less than 15 hours we will hold Nathan and have him with us. The anticipation is escalating as the hours tick away!!!!!!!!!!!

We flew out of Beijing this morning and arrived in Zhengzho by early afternoon. Unpacking tiny 18 month old clothes (at least compared to Drew, Lauren and Emily's), diapers and placing Nathan's blankets on the crib in the room for him were my highlights today. I guess I'm nesting here in our hotel room, getting things ready for our dear little boy.

What will he look like in real life, not just in a picture? How will he respond to us? Will he sense how much we love him? What will those first moments be like for the three of us? Only the Lord knows and that is where we are resting...is in the Lord's arms. We are entrusting Nathan and our future with him to the Lord, believing that the Lord has ordained all of us to be together. AND we can't wait for Nathan to meet his extended family. Often in China, because of the one-child policy, Chinese children don't have siblings, aunts, uncles or cousins. Well, Nathan is going to step into a world full of family. Life is going to go upside down for him for sure, in the best possible way!!

Would you please pray that God's hand of grace and goodness will be on Nathan in these next days and weeks? Everything will be new for him. Thank you for praying for our "Gotcha Day" and beyond.

One last thing. A huge blessing in our trip are the other families that we are going through this experience with. There are 16 families here in the Henan province getting their children. Our representative told us all today that we are the biggest group to come to this province with CCAI ever. I'm pretty sure we are all getting special needs children and hearing others' stories has been such a blessing. Some families are here with their kids and some came without them (like us). Some brought one or two parents along. Also, some of the children along were adopted from China and now their parents are adopting again. Out of the 16 families, four of us are getting children from PingDingShan.

We've also really enjoyed some time with one of the couples, Ron and Laurie Besonen. Keith and I have known Laurie since our days in Indianapolis. Then we met Ron once they were engaged. How sweet is it that God brought us to China to get boys with cleft lip and palate on the same travel group.

Look for our big news along with pictures tomorrow!!!!

Visiting the Great Wall

It is one of the 7 wonders of the world and we were breathless and really cold as we kept climbing the wall to the top. It felt like we were on a Rocky Mountain hike but Keith and I bundled up and made the trek to the top. What an awesome work of art the wall is. And what a reminder of both what mankind is available of as well as how faceless and harsh a project like that one can be.

So, after working out and taking loads of video and pictures, our wobbly legs headed back into Beijing.

Tomorrow morning we fly to Zhengzhou, which is the place where Nathan will become ours. It seems fitting to think of picking up our wonder up soon after experiencing this wonder. And, of course, as we walked on the wall, we were thinking of the Lord and His beauty and wonder in all that He has made. Please be praying for our Gotcha Day which is right around the corner. Thanks and all of our love from nippy China.

Seeing China from a Rickshaw

This morning we went and saw history - by rickshaw. The quaint, ancient neighborhood of the old homes, or "horts", was fascinating to hear about and see. Only those employed by the Ming and Qin emperors could live there. They were built with courtyards and wove along narrow alleys. As our driver peddled our bicycle down some of those alleys, we nestled under a cozy blanket in the 35 degree weather. Then, we got out for awhile and got to walk inside and see one of the homes. The family has lived there for 5 generations and the grandmother told us about her life now. She was born in that home.

Our tour representative for our agency, George, called rickshaws China's early form of a BMW. It certainly was quite an experience. I loved it when our sweet rickshaw driver, noting Keith's height, called him Yao Ming. [For those of you not into basketball, Yao Ming is a 7 foot starter in the NBA who is very famous in China.] Anyway, that ride was unforgettable.
Then, we toured a silk factory and learned how silk is made. It was so interesting. Did you know that single cacoons are used for clothing and double ones are used to make quilts. I used my birthday money and bought a queen silk quilt for our bed. It is so cool.

After our Chinese lunch we walked through Tian'an Men Square followed by the grand palace, nicknamed the Forbidden City because only the emperor and his insiders were allowed into it.


The emperor demanded full allegiance and worship from his people and the enormity of his empire and palace (with over 9000 rooms) was fascinating to consider. What is it in a man's heart that causes him to see himself as a god? The throne for the emperor had a special set of stairs only he could use. And when he came into his palace there was a gate that only he could enter through.

As Keith and I looked at that throne, we were thinking about the ONE king of the universe who deserves our worship. No human can fill those shoes or should fill those shoes. How very grateful we are to be serving the King of Kings. And someday everyone will know that truth. What a day that will be. For now, our prayer is that Nathan will come to see the beauty and majesty of that king above all others.

So, the day is done and I'm dragging a lot more today. Keith had to pull me out the door to get dinner at 6 p.m. I just wanted to sleep.

The days are ticking down and even though Nathan doesn't know it yet, we are growing in our anticipation that very soon he will know it! Meeting all of the other amazing families and beginning to hear some of their stories is also so inspiring for us. What a blessing to be on this adoption journey!!!

First Impressions of Beijing

Quiet airport. Keith and I are taller than everyone. smoggy haze. smell of coal. loaded down bicycles. plush high rises. gray, apartments. lots of them.

I looked out of our bus window as our representative George told us about his hometown of Beijing, trying to take in as much as I could. He told us that there are 18 million people and 5 million cars here and called Beijing a parking lot. We drove into the city as the sun was beginning it's descent and saw the orange ball surrounded by the haze of coal smoke. There were bicyclists peddling beside the airport expressway loaded down with all varieties of things. And then there were the high rises (including a Wal-Mart Supercenter) in the thick of downtown.

Are we really in China? It seems hard to believe. Thanks for praying for our flight. We were graciously given exit row seats that Keith and I were very grateful to have. Also, we both were able to sleep more than I ever remember sleeping on an international flight. You all were praying and we appreciate those prayers very much.

The lovely flight attendant that sat right there near us suggested Peking Duck as a good option for my birthday out with Keith and so we are headed down to our hotel lobby to celebrate Thanksgiving and my birthday, Chinese style. [We were served chicken and stuffing last night on the flight, so I guess we did get a little Thanksgiving already, hmmm.]

Nathan, we are here in your beautiful country and closer to you than we've ever been before. What a grand place this is...full of so many amazing people and such old history. We're very excited to be in your homeland and are trying to soak in every detail we can so that we will have many stories to tell you as you grow older!

Tomorrow we tour the Forbidden City and Tian'an Men Square.

Waiting in Chicago

So, Keith and I are sitting at a food court at Chicago O'Hare and in a few hours will be on our way to Beijing and one step closer to holding Nathan. This is it!! We're really going.

There's so much in my heart and so much that hasn't been said yet, but I'm guessing that over the next few weeks in particular I'll get the chance to fill in some of the cracks. The main thing I'm feeling right now is gratitude. I'm thankful and it is fitting because tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful for Keith. He is my partner and dear husband. I can't imagine this journey without him. Any of you who know him know that he is a stickler for details and he has covered every base of our preparation beautifully.

Earlier this week, when I was at Target (buying more medicine than I have ever bought before) he was at home arranging all of the documents on the floor of his office. This whole process of adoption is filled with documents to be filled in and signed and sent off to one place and then another. And now the last documents are in our bags and we are packed and we are really going to get him.

Back to gratefulness ---- well, I just want to say that I'm grateful for the waiting. I've hated it at times and cried out in frustration at times, but the Lord has had his sweet way with me in the midst of my balled up fists. He has taught me that He is God and I am not. He is the ONE who controls all things. He brings the sun up and He brings kings into power and removes them. He knew when a tiny little baby with a heart-broken mother would be left at a river in PingDingShan. And He knew that Nathan belonged to us. So, He let us wait and He didn't cower or budge on the timing that He knew was right for our family.

So, today, one day before both Thanksgiving and my birthday, I want to proclaim my thanksgiving to the God of our lives. He is good and His plans are right and we are humbled by His timing and His provision. My arms are aching to hold Nathan so tight and whisper how much I love him and how long I waited and how worth the wait he was. That will come soon...in 5 days to be exact. Until then and in this final waiting time, I'll keep thanking the Lord.

Thank you Jesus, for sending a little son into our lives.

Nathan's Story

(Originally written September 2010)

Here he is – our dear son!  But before I (Rhonda) tell you more, why don’t you find a cozy chair and grab a cup of “coffee” so you can sit down and enjoy reading the story of how God brought our son to us!

      Nathan Jiang (江) Johnson

Nathan means “Gift of God”, which he certainly is.  And his Chinese middle name Jiang (which sounds like my dad’s name John with a slight “g” sound on the end) was chosen to honor my father.  In Chinese, Jiang means “river”—which symbolizes strength, peace and endurance.  Not only was Nathan found by a river when he was one day old, but for Chinese Christians Jiang also signifies someone who guides people to THE River of Life (which is our prayer for him).

The Dream of International Adoption

Long before I met Keith, I dreamed of adopting internationally.  I would think about bringing a bit of God’s big world into my home and seeing my family change, for generations to come, as a result of all of us belonging to each other.  But was this God’s dream or just mine?

The Dream Begins To Come True

Five years ago, our family was happily living in Durham, North Carolina.  Our three kids were such a blessing but that dream to adopt had not gone away.  Keith knew my heart but I knew that we both needed to feel called to this.  So, I prayed and waited on the Lord.  In February 2006 Keith caught me off guard one day when told me, “I’m ready”. My response was, “Ready for what?” to which he said, “Ready to adopt.”  GOD HAD LED and so we started the application process.

Our paperwork and movement towards a finished dossier filled many Sunday afternoons and beyond that spring, summer, and even into the fall.  And then in December of 2006 our dossier was in China.  Now all we had to do was wait.

And WAIT we did!  For years and years.  There have been times of anguish and frustration.  Times of peace and settled trust.  And sometimes a little bit of everything.  Time kept moving on.  And we moved on . . . on to Florida two years ago, still without our littlest member with us.

A New Direction in our Dream

Then, in May 2009 we were invited to come to meeting with our agency’s founders, Josh and Lillian, hosted for families like ours who were waiting for a child.  Keith and I walked into that room and looked around at all the others who were waiting and longing for their babies, just like us, and my heart broke.  The car ride home that day was profoundly difficult for me.  That day was a watershed event.  I faced my heart that had become dry and detached.  I realized how sad I really was.  I was angry about waiting and didn’t want to wait anymore.

Following that meeting, we began to realize that staying on our current path (i.e., traditional “healthy” baby) would mean waiting several more years.  So, we began the process of praying for and processing whether God might be using these circumstances to redirect us to a special needs baby.  Maybe His plan all along had been that and now we were ready to consider it seriously.

All last summer and throughout the fall we thought and prayed and sought counsel.  Was this God’s plan?  Time was passing, but we wanted to make sure this was right and from Him.  Finally, as 2010 became a reality, we were ready to say “yes”.  Then, there were new rounds of paperwork.  So we dove in again.

Our Match Day Happens!

Then, finally on July 13^th (Nathan’s 11 month birthday) we received word that we had been matched with a baby boy.  Our perfect match.  In God’s perfect timing. 

In the beginning, I thought we’d adopt from Europe and God led us to China.  I thought once we pursued China that we’d get a girl and God matched us with a dear little boy.  I thought that we’d have a traditional placement and God knew we would be matched with a laughing joyful little one who needed a cleft palate surgery and a few other medical things.  I thought our children would all be 2 ½ years apart and God knew that Nathan would have three older siblings (two little mommy’s and one teenage brother).  GOD KNEW and I was along for a ride of faith like I’ve never known before.

Our “Gotcha” Day is coming!

All of this and we haven’t even held him yet.  So, the waiting isn’t over, but it is almost over.  And the paperwork isn’t over, but it is almost over.  And before I know it, Keith and I will be holding him and loving him in person.  I cannot wait. . .  All of us can’t wait!!!  His orphanage is in the city of PingDingShan in the Henan Providence.  They tell us that he loves to laugh and be given attention (which we’ll be more than ready to give him).